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Who’s Watching Your Wallet? Top 5 Things to Consider When Choosing a Financial Advisor

As we continue to simplify our lives in order to operate with ease while caring for others, we need to make sure that we have our house in order –our financial house that is! We may be running around to hospital and doctor visits which leave us spent and just plain exhausted. But can I ask you a question? If you are too busy because you’re handling everyone else’s stuff – who’s watching your pocket? This is a very good question. I want to emphasize that we do not want to neglect our finances and put everything else on the back burner because a life event for your loved one has popped up! There are certain times of the year that you may want to visit what’s going on in your finances. I recommend mid-year and/or a review annually on your birthday and to have one especially if a major life event pops up such as illness, loss of a loved one or even the addition of a new family member. Be prepared so you can know exactly what’s going on. You’ll be able to make adjustments as appropriate and when necessary. Also this is a way to make sure that you’re on track to have what you need when you need it!

To do this you need to add another member to your team. Remember we talked about having a CPA on deck as part of your team. The next addition you need in your life is a financial advisor. Why you might ask? Well someone else whom you trust can make sure that while you are assisting your loved one and keeping your household running together you can be sure that you’ll have the financial resources you need to navigate the different stages of life. Attack those life goals, anticipate transitions and keep you moving into having enough for retirement and plan for the what ifs or just in case situations that may pop up. I really started to think about this more when my Dad became ill and as an only child, I started to think about who would be looking out for me should something happen. With the rising costs of everything thoughts about affording things in retirement or being able to handle an emergency that may come up. Unfortunately the unexpected does happen –I mean I never expected to be caring for both parents simultaneously – that was truly something I couldn’t have anticipated. However, I can get prepared to have what I need for myself and my family’s future.

What to Look for In An Advisor

You’ll want to find someone who has a fiduciary responsibility. That means that they have a legal duty to act in your best interest. You’ll want to interview at least 3 advisors and assess whether they have the qualifications to meet your needs.

Some key areas that you may want to consider are:

1.Experience: Ideally you’ll want someone who has at least 10 years of experience since they’ll have likely experienced a full market cycle and witnessed and managed through fluctuations of the market.

Ask the following:

How long have you been managing wealth?
What licenses do you hold?
Tell me about your credentials and about those on your team.

2. Fees:

Ask the following:

How do you charge for your services? Is it a fee for service or a percent of assets under management? Do they sell specific products? (You may want to stay away – as they may be influenced to sell more of that product because they get kick backs.)

3. Strategy/Support: Seek an advisor who sees managing your assets as an important part of helping you to manage the changes you’ll experience as you go through life.

Ask the following:

What’s your investment strategy?
How will we work together and how often will we meet?
Where will my assets be held? ( It’s best that they be managed through a reputable independent firm such as Fidelity, TD Ameritrade or Charles Schwab)
Do you offer other services such as insurance, tax and estate counseling?

4. Their Record: You may want to verify if your advisor really holds the credentials they claim to hold . Check the following websites including FINRA Broker Check, the SEC, the North American Securities Administrators Association or the CFP Boar .

Ask the following:

Do you have any complaints on your record?
May I see 3 client references?

5. Picking an Advisor: Once you’ve narrowed down your 3 candidates, do an inner check. How do you feel sharing information with this person? Do you feel comfortable? Are they willing to listen? Can they explain terms, ideas, and strategies in ways that are easy to understand? The goal is to seek someone who has your best interests in mind and create a strategy that’s tailored to your specific needs while making it easy for you to understand.

By keeping these things in mind, you can be sure that you’ll a have a good idea of who’s watching your wallet so you can have peace of mind and tend to things you need to do for your family.

Disclaimer: The purpose of this blog post is to serve as a point of reference and it is for informational purposes only regarding the topic of personal finance. I will attempt share lessons and information that I’ve learned along the way. While I have spent well over a decade in the financial services industry, this blog should not serve as your main source of financial advice. You should ALWAYS do your own research and consult your own financial professional when making decisions about your personal financial future.

Want Your Home to Thrive? Focus On Standard Operating Procedures!

How can we simplify our lives and make things easier especially when we are taking care of others? Do you ever wonder how can you do that? Often we spend a lot of time taking care of the household and everyone else in it. What would happen if you had to go away or spend time recovering from an illness and you could no longer do what you’re accustomed to doing at home? Would someone else be able to step in? Does anyone else besides you know how your house runs? Have you ever delegated some of those responsibilities to anyone else or hired help so that you wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed?

If the answer is no to any of the above questions, you may want to take notes on what I’m about to introduce to you!

Every major corporation has what they call standard operating procedures aka SOP. This is a handbook, a manual or a playbook that tells everyone what they do and how they do it to continue to run smoothly. The CEO runs this company and everyone operates under these guidelines. Guess what if you are a caregiver or the head of your household –you are the CEO and I’m pretty sure that you have a certain way of doing things. You have systems for the way things are run. All of the major and minor responsibilities from preparing meals to finances probably are run by you. This can get more complicated depending on how many people are in your household and especially if any of them have any special needs. I know all too well how complicated this can get especially when both of my parents ended up in the hospital at the same time. There was so much to stay on top of and each of them had very different needs. In times of crisis it can be tough to keep up and even when things are going normally there can be ups and downs. This is where asking for help becomes crucial. If you couldn’t be present because of work or if a loved one needed medical attention, would you be prepared to tell someone what they could do to help? This is where having that SOP or Playbook would come in handy. Have you ever seen one of those wife swap tv shows where the wife agrees to live in another family’s house for a week and do things according to their rules? This is the same concept. She leaves a manual that outlines her daily duties and what is needed to run her house for the week.

I know that you’re probably saying- “really Denise.. I don’t have any time to do this let alone keep up my own to do list!” I know….. I don’t mean to add something else to your to do list, but trust me you can’t afford not to do this and it’s really simple. You can start by just making a list of tasks and then breaking it down into 3 core things:

Procedures or tasks that need to be done
References or list what’s needed to get those tasks done and where you can find the tool or resource to do it
Checklist or worksheet to track what needs to be done or helps you complete the task

If you’re not sure where to start or don’t have any idea on what you could possibly need help with, you should check out the Caregiver’s Prep Guide. Now you don’t have to do this all at once. You can start with the most important area. Think of an area that you might need the most help. For example when things got to be too much for me, we decided to get a home health aide to come and assist with my parents daily activities. There was a certain routine that my parents were accustomed to. However, would someone new coming into our home know that Friday is laundry day or that my Mom eats certain things for breakfast and what her daily schedule is? Nope! I may tell them when they first start but it could take some time until they get used to the routine. Having a playbook could help, especially if I wasn’t around. This would allow someone to come in and take care of what my Mom needs while I’m at work or if I’m away. If you are not sure if you should delegate and get some help take a look at the Caregiver’s Prep Guide. Often we don’t want to let go, but your life can be so much easier if we allow someone to come in and help us. So there you have it, this is just a quick tip that I think can help make sure your home continues to run smoothly so you can have peace of mind and tend to other things.

Memories on Memorial Day

Now that we are embarking on another Memorial Day Holiday, I must say that there are some bittersweet reflections as we take a day of remembrance to pay homage to those fallen heroes who died during active military service. I want to say thank you to those who have served and to those families who may have endured a loss as their loved one gave their life so that we can live with the liberties we have today in the US.

I have been in reflection mode lately. I’ve been thinking of the fond memories of my Dad and some stories come to mind that make me smile. It’s that time of year for BBQs as Memorial Day is often seen as the unofficial start to the summer season. It’s time to break out the white outfits and partake in a flame grilled burger. My Dad would always get excited because it was the season for corn on the cob. That sweet corn roasted on the grill or even just simply boiled on the stove top and drizzled with a touch of butter. Hmmm yum! I can just taste it now. Corn on the cob was one of his favs!

While many are reminiscing of BBQs past and BBQs to come, I ask you to remember those who may be grieving a loss. There’s someone who might be missing from the dinner table or from that family BBQ this year. Whether they were a veteran who gave their life to service or a parent or family member who won’t be able to join you because they’ve transitioned, think about that friend or family member who might be missing their loved one and reach out. They may be missing someone and in need of a check in. Let’s seek to reflect on the memories or make some new memories. I wish I had taken some video footage of my Dad while he was still here. He was quite the jokester and personality. What I wouldn’t give right now to hear his voice or see him laugh again.

So on this Memorial Day, I say thank you to the veterans who sacrificed their lives to help us keep certain liberties. I also say thank you to all the caregivers who also give a daily service of sacrifice to their family members so they can also maintain certain liberties.

I salute you! May God Bless!

Multitasking is a Myth – Why I Decided to Just Give Up Juggling It All

As a caregiver for your family or loved ones, we are always trying to do something for everyone. New requests get added on to your plate daily. We try to do it all -work obligations, tend to family needs, participate in community and church activities, and field requests from neighbors and friends. You get asked, “How come I haven’t heard from you?” –Maybe it’s because I’m just tired!! I wear so many hats and have so much to do constantly that I’m often working in some capacity up until bedtime. I’m discovering a new thing- the power of saying no to requests that are not in alignment to what’s really important and needs my attention right now. Doing this will allow me to slow down, prioritize and identify how I can be less stressed. But.. how did I get there? Good question! Let’s start with what is multitasking and why do we multitask?

What is multitasking?

To multitask is usually when one person attempts to perform two or more tasks simultaneously. I say “attempt” because we usually don’t or can’t successfully do more than one thing at time. What we actually do is task switching where we continually start multiple things giving the impression that we are doing them at the same time. Also, today society, the workplace, and other external pressures place importance on getting more things done faster so we are more prone to try to do more to keep up with everyone else.

Why do we try to multitask? It all breaks down to expectations.

Family expectations: I must do this because everyone else in the family has done it too.
Societal Expectations: We want to be like everyone else.
We don’t want to be perceived as lazy, so we take on things that we sometimes just can’t handle.
We want to feel accomplished so we try to do it all.

How do we end up feeling when trying to multitask?

Overwhelmed.
Unaccomplished.
Tired & exhausted.
Unsettled.

What would happen if we just stopped trying to multitask?

We may have more peace of mind.
We may actually complete things instead of leaving multiple unfinished projects and tasks.
We’ll feel happier.

What steps do we need to take right now?

Make a list and check it twice. We’ve got to find out whether you’ve been naughty or nice! ( Just kidding – I wanted to see if you were paying attention!!!)
Do a brain dump. – Sit down for 10 – 15 minutes and just write all of your thoughts and tasks and what you need to do or have finished.
- Pick out the most pressing items that need to be done and highlight them.
- Pick 1 item and get started!
Say no to too many commitments. – Over committing yourself can be exhausting – it’s ok to say no.
- Ask yourself – Is this the best use of my time, energy, and resources? – If you can answer yes to all 3 then proceed. If not revisit for a later time or not at all.
Go back to your brain dump list and pick out things that you really want to do and carve out some time to do them throughout the week. Pick no more than 3 and then just relax. Smaller bites will equal more things getting done under less stress and in a timelier fashion.

So this is what I’m committed to doing – saying no, doing brain dumps, and picking 1-3 things to do over the course of a week. Try it! Let me know if you find it helps you at all.

Developing Resilience

*“I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.” – George S. Patton*

Have you ever felt that your life is not your own? Are you constantly doing or being called to do something for someone else? Sometimes I feel like I want to change my name and assume an anonymous alias. Do you sometimes feel like you can’t catch a break and are always in the middle of some challenge just waiting for it to plateau… however, when you turn around there is something else you have to contend with? If these questions seem to fit you and you can answer any of them with a resounding “Yes!”…you must be a caregiver on the verge of burn out.

Lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed myself. Sometimes I feel tired of having this responsibility and I just want to put all of this aside. I try to maintain a positive attitude. However, when faced with a grouchy sick person who has otherwise been for the most part reasonable to get along with, turn around and flip the script and act with the most unpleasant behavior and attitude toward you and others………… you start to question a few things. Why am I doing this? Why do I have to put up with this? Why is God allowing this to happen? How can I continue to deal with this and move forward with the things that I want for my life? Will I be able to pursue what I want?

I recall a time that I was caught in one of these moments in years past. My father decided to be angry with everyone – himself, me, my mother, and the aide. His behavior was inexcusable. There’s nothing like trying to remain pleasant with someone who is being stubborn and refuses to listen to reason. As for me, I tried to reason with the irrational. At that point, an otherwise reasonable man was facing a pivotal point in his life – the thought or realization that he may never walk again on his own and will probably always need someone’s help.

At that moment, my Dad’s ability to be rational was severely compromised because his independence is slowly, “yet rapidly”, in his mind escaping him. My thought is why be mad at the world? Why be mad at me? I have endured so much with you…advocating on his behalf by talking to doctors, nurses, and all kinds of medical staff – so much so that I can say that I’ve been through a mini medical school boot camp. What did I do to you to be on the receiving end of this dialogue of dissatisfaction? I didn’t make you sick or cause certain things to go “wrong” with you.

I must stop here…..because I realized that it’s not about me. It’s not even about what he said or what was going on and how he even got there. I began to absorb his negative energy and started wondering what’s in it for me and how could I still pursue my goals.

One of the ways to develop a level of resiliency is to have something else to focus on. Have you buried a dream because you don’t have the time to pursue it? One of my passions is writing and one of the reasons for sharing this story. Experts say write about what you know. This post helps me to express myself through one of my passions!

I want you to remember that, whether or not you are a caregiver, having balance in your life is key and it is especially important to carve out some time for yourself. Do you have any desires and passions that lay dormant? These things can serve as an outlet and give you something else to focus on besides that person’s ailment and all the responsibility that comes along with being a caregiver. Pursue them! You are feeding your spirit which will give you more energy to fulfill your dreams and desires along with your caregiving responsibilities. I recommend that you don’t forget about yourself during this time and process.

Joel Osteen said, “One way to tell if a dream is really from God is that the desire won’t go away. You may have had it for years, but you still can’t let it go. In fact, you may have tried to let it go, but it won’t let go of you.” I encourage you to reach out and search your heart for those dreams and desires that reside within you. These desires are there for a purpose and it is a disservice to yourself and others if you don’t pursue them. This is how you bounce back. This is how you become resilient. This is how you can gain energy to keep going.

What have you done that helps you to bounce back? Are there dreams and desires that you’ve let go? Please share your thoughts.